So proud of my kids

WARNING: no movie or book spoilers but "sappiness" factor for this post is higher than normal.

I recently installed a "visitor counter" tool on my site. It doesn't allow me to track who has been here, but it does track "unique" visitors for me. Thus, I have confirmed that my following includes only those I know about, and I can count you on one hand. Which is great with me; I really never intended any of this for wider distribution. But knowing that you are all loved ones reading this gives me a new sense of freedom to put up stuff that only a Mom might care about. So, you are fairly warned for the future.

We went to parent/teacher conferences today. It still strikes me as largely an exercise in futility. The teacher takes 15 mintues to page through some example class work and say that "Your [insert correct name] is such a delight to have in class."

I guess if I were less of a curmudgeon, I could see a few purposes served. For James, whose organizational skills are questionable, it confirms that we actually see a few important school papers. Anything he is charged to bring home is a crap shoot. For Margaret, we did get to see some semi-formal testing, such as letter and number recognition, letter sounds, and word reading. These were all compared to earlier tests, so we could see progress. Nice to have it formalized, though I could already tell on my own that her reading is improving.

Overall, though, it does bring to me new empathy for my parents. I recall that when I was a kid, I would wait with bated breath for their return from conferences, at which point I would beg them to tell me everything my teacher said. Their answers were always fairly uninteresting:

"She said you are doing well in reading."
"Your teacher enjoys having you in class."
"Everything is fine."

Seriously? That is all you can report, Mom and Dad? I of course took this to mean something sinister. What were they not reporting? They were in the room longer than that. And what would I have to do to win the attention and accolades I surely felt I deserved?

And so now I sit in the room, and find myself telling my kids as they clamor for information:

"Your teacher says you are getting to be a really good reader, Margaret."
"Your teacher says everything is going fine, James."

And my kids respond in disbelief. They know I was in there for 15 minutes. Come on, what did she really say?"

So, I have been thinking harder about specific reports. This blog is, after all, largely a journal for my kids to enjoy someday (or not enjoy). And although there really isn't much specific that was said, I did glean some important info, if I think hard about it.

Margaret:

• Margaret is a "good student." She gets the game of school. She can find the rules or instructions, follow them, and get the task done with little instruction.
• Margaret tells stories with expression and enthusiasm that her teacher really enjoys. Her teacher said she hopes Maggie will keep that same joy and expressivity as she learns to read and she will be a wonderful out-loud reader.
• Margaret has several girls she would consider her closest friends (Gracie, Nikki, and Sara) but hangs out at recess with most of the girls in the class, in one large group (which plays Ice Wars, the Ada Christian commodity game that is beyond adult comprehension).
• Margaret is responsible and trustworthy. Her teacher felt that she is one who could be counted on to take another child down to the office for help, for instance.

So, while these at face value seemed liked the generic "nice kid" platitudes, I see that these fit with who I see Maggie becoming, and I am proud of who she is.

James:

• James seems to love science. He handles difficult vocabulary and concepts apparently with ease, and almost always gets 100% on tests.
• James is not so fond of math, which at this point means to him rote memorization of facts (addition/subtraction, and now multiplication). But his teacher seems very tolerant, and in fact sympathetic, to his dislike of drill. She hopes he will enjoy more the problem solving unit that comes up at the end of the school year.
• James seems to be having a better time socially. (We have felt this to be true, also, based on his home behavior and comments.) His teacher pointed out that James has become very popular as the go-to guy in computers, because the students have started playing Poptropica, and James is the expert on the game. (There, some unintended value from not owning a Wii or Playstation! James's mind-numbing screen time has instead been free to develop expertise in an obscure on-line game available in the school computer lab.)
• James thinks deeply and seriously about issues of faith. His teacher shared two of his independent writing assignments from the year. I kept his spellings because I enjoyed the authenticity they bring to these.

James's Faith Statement (written following a study of the story of Joseph)

I believe that God has a plan for me, just like he had a plan for Joseph. I believe that God's hand is guiding my life. I believe He is in control. I believe He has many more great plans for my life. I believe that he is the creater.

James's Prayer of Thanksgiving (written in November)

Dear Lord, We give you thanks for what we have, not wishing four what we do not have, but being thankful four what we have. Four as your sirvant David said, Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in teh way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. Forgive us four our sins O Lord. And gant [grant] us blessings for the year to come. Four thine is the kingdome, and the power and the glory four ever and ever, Amen.

So, in retrospect, in just 15 minutes I gained a great picture of my son's life at school. He is thoughtful, deliberate, likes to be right or not do it at all. He doesn't care for or about rote drills (spelling, math facts) but seems to have a photographic memory for facts and information that interest him. His earnestness and concern with following the rules may cause him some trouble right now, socially, but are part of his development as a moral, deep-thinking person who wants to know what is right and do it, and expects everyone else to do the same. ( I guess the concept of Original Sin is what we should work on next in our family time.) I am very proud of James.