Look what I can do!

Okay, okay, I am sure that James and Maggie went through this stage, too. But either it wasn't nearly as extreme, or we really do block out bad memories. Because I am sure I would be completely nuts by now if they had both done this to me.

There are no longer any conversations at our house. They are all drowned out by the constant one-way shouting from John:

"Look what I can do!"

Don't misunderstand me. It isn't all repetivite. Often, there is variation - John will start with someone's name. As in, "Mama, look what I can do!" This is a direct command to a selected prey. If the intended should fail to provide full visual surveillance of John as he performs his feat, the demand will be repeated, with increasing volume and ferocity. He is not above whacking his intended audience to get their cooperation.

Sometimes, the variation comes in the form of John extending his sense of self to his toys. Then, it becomes, "Mama, look what my plane can do!"
"Yes, John, I see it can drive sideways up the stairs."
"Mama, look what my plane can do!"

"Yes, John, I see it can drive backwards up the stairs."
"Mama, look what my plane can do!"

"Yes, John, I see it can still drive up the side of the stairs."
"Mama, look what my plane can do!"

"Yes, John."
"Mama, LOOK!

Much to his consternation, I have drawn the line firmly at car trips. Nothing will stop him from describing what he (or his toys) can do, but I have at least managed to convince him that I will not LOOK at the feats, except at red lights. Mostly convinced him. He needs regular reminders.

So I am left to wonder which will happen first:

1. John will win a trip to the E.R. with one of his feats (which most often include large jumps from or to high places).
2. Mom will go certifiably insane from this form of torture, something akin to sleep deprivation.
3. John will actually outgrow this phase.