Ahh, Christmas...

For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

O come, O come, Emmanuel.
Amen and Amen

Christmas was a space to breathe for all of us today. Physically, spiritually, mentally, individually and as a family, we felt the presence of the Prince of Peace. Praise God.

This fall has been difficult for me. I have felt the strain of trying to do a full-time job, without full-time hours available. I have felt the strain of being over-committed at church and work, a perfect storm of reasonable commitments made that all came unexpectedly due at the same time. The kids and Jeremy have of course felt the strain of all this as well.

I decided to record our schedule here not to complain, but to document to myself what we did. This should on the one hand be an encouragement to me in the future, should we find ourselves in this situation again. More importantly, I hope it will be a warning, to help prevent us from getting in this situation again. Our schedule has been:

7:30 AM - leave the house (Jeremy to work; me to take kids to school)
9:00 AM - Mon-Wed-Fri: drop John at preschool and I join Jeremy at work
8:30 AM - Tuesday mornings - John and me time - usually grocery shopping
9:00 AM - Thursday - I take John to swim lessons and then have a whole day at home with John (laundry, sometimes a nap, sometimes a video for John and work for me) until we pick up kids at 2:30.
12:00 PM - Jeremy picks up John at preschool while I stay and teach afternoon classes (unless it is Tuesday, when we make a running switch at home, handing off the baton and John before I race in for my 12:30 lecture.)
2:30 PM - Jeremy picks up kids at school, followed by piano lessons Tuesday or gymnastics on Wednesday
5:30 PM - Mom gets home from work for dinner (Except Thursdays, when Mom is already home and Dad gets home about this time.)

Then, the evenings. All of these activities are in addition to the work that we so often have to bring home with us - lecture prep, writing and grading tests, committee work, etc. Too many bedtimes after midnight did me in, and would have even had I not been pregnant.
Mondays: I get home after department meeting around 5:30 pm. I have a meeting at 7 PM almost every week (Faculty Senate, Church Council, Church Worship Committee), so I have to eat a quick dinner, hug the kids good night, and leave Jeremy to run bedtimes. (Early in the fall, Jeremy also had to take all 3 kids to soccer practices from 6-8 pm. What a relief when those ended.)
Wednesdays: I teach a lab most weeks at 6:30. Many of the other nights, another church committee meeting at 7:00 instead. Fortunately, they kids have kids' programs at church every other week, so mostly preoccupied and don't miss me as much at bedtime with Jeremy.
Thursdays: Jeremy's turn to be gone, with a 6:30 class he decided to take at the seminary. So, we have a quick, early dinner together, then it is my turn for the solo bedtime.
Fridays:  collapse on the couch after dinner as often as not, leaving poor Jeremy to do the solo bedtime again, anyway.

The kids always ask for "the plans" at bedtime. This is partly a stalling technique to keep us there talking longer. But also, they want to try to keep track of what comes next in their lives. There were so many nights when James or Maggie would say somewhat unhappily, "Mom, why are you always gone to meetings at night? It feels like I never see you." Mommy guilt kicks in easily; I have to check this with some reality. On a Thursday afternoon, when I could be here with them after school, for example, they would be just as likely to instead choose to watch TV for an hour rather than visit with me. But I also realize it from their situation. They don't necessarily want to sit and stare at Mom and have "quality time." Sometimes it is just nice to know that someone is around - there for you whenever you might want to find her. And I wasn't able to give them that much this fall.

But during this Advent, I was waiting on much, and longing for much. I saw the 17th of December, the end of final exams, as a Holy Grail of sorts. The scheduled commitments at work would cease for 2 weeks. The kids would be home from school for 2 weeks. We would all reconnect magically and perfectly.

Of course, things never work out quite like we plan. First, I collapsed, physically, on the 18th and 19th. I pretty much just slept. Felt wonderful, but didn't get much accomplished. My grading was more backed up than I had hoped. Final grades were due at 5 PM on the 24th. (I didn't make it with both courses.) So during the first half of our long stretch of "family time," I sat at the kitchen counter grading while the kids entertained themselves. Or I went into the office and felt even more guilty the whole time. Finally, on the afternoon of the 23rd, I left on my first real Christmas shopping trip. Sure, I had picked up an odd thing here or there while getting groceries at Meijer in December, and had been able to order a few things online. But the rest of the list was accomplished in a whirlwind 2.5 hours amidst the crazy crowds. Fortunately, I had good luck finding what I needed.

A late night (well after midnight) on the 23rd allowed me to submit grades for one course and finish wrapping presents for the party at my Grandmother's on the 24th. I successfully graded the last stack of exams on the drive across the state. That left only 3 big project reports for the big finish. We had a lovely 24th of December, seeing good friends from far away and then all of Dad's family. Unfortunately, I was far too foggy-headed to finish up the reports, which take some actual attention. By 5 PM or so, I was fading fast and unable to enjoy the party anymore. Jeremy kindly drove all the way home as well, allowing me to nap. Thus, when we got home (with sleeping kids) I could stay up late again (this time only to midnight) to finish all the wrapping for the next day.

The kids woke up at 7:30 AM - pretty reasonable, really, for kids excited about Christmas. I was rested enough to get up and enjoy the quiet morning with them. I felt a bit sick - like a cold or the flu, but probably just fatigue, since I felt much better later in the day. Still, it was enough to convince me to not try to make it to 10 AM church. In fact, I didn't even try to get dressed. By 11 AM, I was napping peacefully on the couch.

Christmas morning was just lovely. The kids were genuinely excited and enthusiastic about their presents. Both James and Maggie said several times, "This is the best Christmas ever!" James was happy to have some new Lego sets to assemble, but especially was excited about the arrival of a family computer. (He has otherwise had to beg time on Mom's or Dad's work laptops, which are often unavailable because we are working.) Maggie loved that she finally got the American Girl doll for which she has been begging for well over a year now. She also got some Barbie/Fairy stuff that made her giddy in a way that only a 6-year old girl could be. She kept saying, "I can't believe I got an American Girl doll AND a Barbie AND fairies!" At least she was appreciative. Oddly enough, she seemed nearly as excited by her new Pillow Pet - perhaps the stupidest creation I have ever seen so effectively marketed to kids. It is really just a big throw pillow, with an animal head attached. It is not as if she is short on stuffed toys, or pillows, in her life. (She first saw an ad for these a few months ago at my dad's house, where they are left to watch excessive TV with commercials. She knew she had to have one. I don't know why. Maybe because we only can get in PBS at home, she hasn't had adequate preparation for resisting the onslaught of commercial TV.) John was thrilled with a backhoe, a preschooler's "monster truck" with remote control, a sword, and a cap gun. And yes, if you compare that to Maggie's list, it sounds like we are gender-stereotype-central. I can't defend it. That is what they like. I swear that if I did it to them, it wasn't on purpose. But you know, I really don't think I did it.

Oh, I was thrilled with my gifts, too. Most significantly, Jeremy arranged for a housecleaner twice a month starting in January. I am glad we have the sort of relationship that we both fully understand the gift is in the fact that he arranged it all, since the actual service is a gift to us both. So, while it might seem a bit like "a blender for your anniversary," I think it is a perfect present. And after this fall, I no longer have any mixed emotions about the rightness of using hired help for the cleaning. I saw the alternative and it hasn't been pretty.

The kids played peacefully all day, thrilled with their new things. (Well, mostly peacefully. John's backhoe and truck made a bit of noise that didn't let up until the batteries began to fail. But, he was content.) My dad came over in the late afternoon to share Christmas dinner with us, which turned out to be lovely even though it was almost completely unplanned. (A beef roast from the freezer, roast potatoes, salad, and homemade egg rolls dropped off by a friend.) Then, quite impressively, I finished up the day with yet another nap on the couch. Not so polite to my dad, perhaps, but he is used to it. He even napped a bit with me, to be companionable, before he headed home.

Now, after a quiet, lovely, peaceful day, with TWO naps, I feel quite ready to face the future. I will somehow get those grades finished tomorrow after church. We will get the entire house picked up and put back together before company back-to-back on Monday and Tuesday for Jeremy's family parties. We will even figure out how to get food purchased and made for those events. And I will finish up the abstract that needs to be submitted for a conference next summer, due by the 31st. Anything is possible after a day of peace, with lots of sleep.

So, I better not get off on the wrong foot again. To bed now, so I can stay caught up on sleep. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night.