Thursday, May 19, 2011

How to mother four?

I haven't done any "room-mother" type things this year (or most years). Usually, I am either at work, or home with younger kids. So when my oldest politely begged  to have a parent drive for just this one trip, the mother-guilt hit a high and I said I would find a way.

Of course, the trip turned out to be the day that Jeremy had to give two final exams, so no hope of him driving, or watching kids. I would have to be the one to drive for the all-day trip to the science museum in Lansing. Which meant I would have to take the 4-month-old, so she could eat. And realistically, I would have to take the 3-year-old, too, since Jeremy would be unavailable. I diligently went about making plans. I cleared it with the teacher to take the younger kids along in the car. She arranged for a second mom to ride with me and help me chaperone my group, in case I needed to change a diaper or the like. I arranged for my  father to meet us at the museum (handy that the trip was to his neck of the woods) and chaperone the 3-year-old, since he definitely requires a 1-on-1 supervisor.

So, here we were. I had successfully overseen the bathing, dressing, eating of four kids and myself, and gotten us to school by 7:50 AM. I woke Helen from a sound sleep and force fed her until our scheduled 8:20 departure, hoping that she would then sleep peacefully for the drive. Thankfully, it actually worked! We drove for an hour with two moms, three fourth graders, John, and Helen.

We arrived and did actually make contact with my dad. Small miracle number one. He ran off, chasing John.

The museum was crazy - noisy and chaotic, with seven different schools visiting the small place that day, including over 60 kids from our school. Helen, strapped in the front-carrier, seemed fine. She calmly observed it all until she drifted peacefully off to sleep. She didn't make a peep until noon, at which point the 4th graders were in "classes" with museum staff and I could slip off to feed and change her. I, on the other hand, was a bit frazzled. There were two moms and only three 4thh graders to keep track of. Shouldn't be too bad, right? Except, even with vigilance, we couldn't watch in 3 directions at once, and we couldn't for the life of us make the three stay together. So I was constantly turning, searching, etc. I don't love that kind of environment.

Then, we drove home again. This part didn't go so well. One of the other 4th graders (not my own, fortunately) tormented John in the backseat. Very hard for me to adjudicate from the front. The other mom seemed disinclined to say anything, I suppose since it wasn't her son. I should have been more assertive and asked her to handle it, but I didn't. Partway back, John's shouting woke up Helen, who screamed for a very long 10-15 minutes of my life. I didn't feel I could stop and make everyone wait when we were due at the school, but also hated to leave her screaming (for everyone's sake). Eventually she put herself back to sleep and we made it to the school.

At this point, I was ready to limp home and nurse my fast-encroaching head cold.  No such luck. This just happened to be the first day of the kids' summer swim team practice. Which meant the schedule was:

2:25 PM: Arrive back at school from field trip. Go to playground with John and try to keep him from picking fights with 4th graders or jumping off the top of the slide.
2:45 PM: School is out. Get the boys to the car, collect Margaret, and drive to optometrist to pick up new contact lenses. Feed Helen in car while sending James in with my credit card. John of course wanted to go along, so Maggie also went, to chaperone John. Quite the parade. Do you suppose I looked a bit irresponsible as a parent? But James turned out to be a very capable courier, bringing out the slip for me to sign. Have I ever mentioned that I love having an almost-10-year-old?
3:45 PM: Go from optometrist to piano teacher's house. Drop off James. Helen is now asleep in the car and John wants to go for a walk. Sent Maggie with him to go around the block. Bemused that I would send the six  year old to chaperone the three year old on a walk. Yes, they are within shouting distance, if not in complete line-of-sight, but I wouldn't have sent James out to chaperone himself, let alone a younger person, when he was six. Funny how perspective changes as kids get older and live through things.
4:15 PM James is done with his piano lesson. Send Maggie in. Put boys in car, and drive to take James to Swim team practice.
4:30 PM Got James to the pool just in time, if he can change in 2 minutes.
4:45 PM Return with one minute to spare to pick up Maggie from her piano lesson. Load her up and back to the pool.
4:50 PM Need to escort Maggie in to get changed - she hasn't done this before by herself like James did last summer. Both Helen and John have fallen asleep in the car. Fortunately, the pool is next to Jeremy's office. Phone ahead and ask him to meet me at the van. He sits with sleeping kids in car while I get Maggie in the pool.
5:25 PM Jeremy returns to work, planning to retrieve the swimmers at 6 PM.  I drive home.
5:30 PM John wakes up as I pull into our garage and begins to sob bitterly because he had wanted to watch swim practice. Unable to console him in any way, I give in. I turn around and drive back to swim practice.
5:45 PM We watch 10 minutes of swimming. Jeremy arrives and between the two of us, we get all four kids in a vehicle and home.
6:10 PM Pull into garage again. Notice that I have driven nearly 200 miles today. Ugh.
6:15 PM I need to serve dinner. Hmm. Thank goodness for Aunt Nancy's Christmas soups - still have the Hamburger Vegetable in the freezer. Just 15 minutes to the table.
7:00 PM Start hustling the kids through the bedtime routine. Wonder why I am so tired.

This sounds crazy, even to me. But it really, really isn't a typical schedule. Just a perfect storm. Couldn't happen again - at least not this week.

No comments:

Post a Comment