Helen at (almost) 16 months

Helen is (still) a delight to us all - she has such a personality, all to herself, yet is (mostly) easygoing and good-natured. I wanted to write down a bit of what she is like at age 16 months, because I know I won't remember as she grows and changes so quickly in the coming months.

Helen is still small - barely over 20 pounds. She is our uniquely light-weight, petite child. She does manage to grow hair, though. Her dark blonde/light brown hair is not super-thick, but does cover her head (unlike Maggie's or John's at this age, as I recall). It is straighter than Maggie's was, yet it does have some cute ringlets around her ears.

Helen continues to love music and dance. When Jeremy turns on music in the car, she instantly begins to "head-bang" along with it. She grins and silently bops her head in time to the beat. She seems to enjoy all music, though to Jeremy's great surprise and delight, Big Country is a clear favorite of hers. When not strapped into her carseat, she will sway and dance to music. The other day, as we were driving on a bumpy road, she began to "sing" in the way Jeremy taught her months ago. (He taught her to just say a long "Laaaa" sound while he patted a hand on her mouth to make an Indian war-call type sound.) On the road, she sang her Laaaa and got the wavering sound from the jolting of the car. She thought this was really neat.

Helen continues to be a climber. We routinely keep all the counter stools tipped over in the kitchen to prevent her from climbing onto the counter. She generally puts up with this and contents herself with sitting or walking on the kitchen table (we can't manage to keep all the chairs tipped over all the time, too). But, when desperate, she tries to lift a stool back upright (she can't, yet) so she can get to higher places. She is also quite happy to push stools or chairs around the kitchen to find new places to climb onto.

Another fascination of Helen's right now is buckles. Her highchair strap is acceptable, and I can occupy her for a few moments with the strap on a diaper-changing station in a public restroom, but what she really likes is to stand up (backwards) in her carseat and buckle her carseat straps. If I try to place her in the carseat and strap her in (to go somewhere), she often makes a fuss, arches her back, refuses to go in. (And she is distressingly strong for a 20-pound person!) But, if I let her turn around and play with the buckle, she instead begins to giggle, almost uncontrollably, while she fiddles away with the plastic pieces. Hmm....

Helen also loves to take a bath, which has been true for most of her life. While we were camping last weekend, I unthinkingly said to someone, in her hearing, "Helen sure is dirty. She needs a bath." She perked right up in my lap and started squirming around, looking for a bathtub. She also began pulling off her clothing. She was quite put out with me after I explained that she couldn't have a bath right then and there.

Which suggests another important point about Helen. She still doesn't say much, which makes it dangerously easy to forget that she understands so much. She is listening all the time, and probably understanding much more than I think to expect. When asked where a person is (Where is Maggie?), she turns to look right at the correct person. She follows (when she feels like it) simple commands, like "Put your hands on your head." (This was Jeremy's idea and is immensely helpful during diaper changes.) She will, if asked, take something to the kitchen trash and throw it away - she loves this job. She can, when asked, go and look for her shoes or jacket (and sometimes even find them).

Helen does have a few words now. She says regularly (and understandably):

• shoes
• highchair
• book. 

She has said at times in the past (though not regularly now):

• Mom
• Dad
• woof-woof (for any 4-legged animal)
• bird
• 'pa! (Grandpa/Grandma). 
• Thank-you
• Side (She asked a few times recently to switch sides when nursing.)
• "Big Brother James" (we aren't so positive about this one, but James insists she was calling him that)

She has reliable baby signs for a few more:

• drink (points one finger into her mouth)
• more (claps her hands together)
• I want that (she holds out her hand, imperiously, palm up, and makes a grabbing motion by curling in her fingers).

Helen is also a great observer, and a mimic. She is watching, all the time, which may be one reason that she is often so quiet. She recently watched Great-Aunt Nancy fold her arms across her chest, and copied it delightedly. She will now adopt that pose any time you ask her to cross her arms. She even manages to do it with "an attitude," expressed on her face, until she breaks into a giggle. She knows she is being cute and can't suppress her glee.

Helen is showing definite signs of a strong independent streak. She prefers to feed herself, and unless she is truly starving, she would rather not eat than be fed by someone else. Which does present a bit of a challenge, both from a nutritional and mess-containment stance, but we are working it out. She already does not care to hold hands while walking. She will squirm her hand right out of mine - something that I think John didn't start until he was two. If she proves to be more stubborn and more independent than John, we could be in for trouble.

Big dreams

"Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration."

Great inventors need to invest blood, sweat, and tears. That is the 99% perspiration of the famous Thomas Edison quotation. Nothing comes to fruition without the developer having the technical knowledge and skills to make an idea a reality, as well as the perseverance to try out the permutations.Still, that other 1% - the inspiration - is a pesky minority. It may be minor, but it is also essential. You can't have a successful invention with only the other 99%. You have to start with a good idea.

I have never deluded myself that I will possess the genius of the great inventors. I will avoid false modestly and state simply that I possess many of the traits needed for the 99%. I am diligent (when I want to be). I am educated and well-trained. I have the technical abilities in my toolbox. But I don't think I have that essential 1% spark of genius. I think, in my most essential core, I am just too chicken. I see all the "why nots" too soon to ever develop a nascent idea. I won't waste any tears over that; I don't think it inhibits me from doing my own job, which I like doing. And if 1% of the students I teach over the years go on to have that 1% inspiration for genius, it won't come from me. But I like to think that I will have contributed to the other 99% of their make-up, that allows their 1% spark to be fruitful. And I will still have had a hand in just a few geniuses over my career - more than enough to satisfy my sense of self-value.

Which is why it is always surprising to me to see some glimmer of that spark in my own offspring. James was talking in the car with Jeremy recently. We've been discussing different educational options for him lately, which has had him thinking more deliberately about his school choices than he has ever before had cause to do. In that context, he asked Jeremy what he would need to study to be able to build an idea he has had in his mind for a while. He described it then to Jeremy for the first time.

"I want to build a helicopter that can't crash. If the rotors lose power, then the speed of falling would make the rotors spin fast enough to provide lift and allow the copter to land softly and safely."

Sounds great to me. Would never have occurred to me.  And I believe he just might do it someday. I find it is much easier to have faith in the potential of my children than in my own potential. So dream on, James!

House hunting

We have been looking at new houses. Well, technically, old houses, but new to us. We aren't seriously committed to buying, but we have been considering a small addition/remodel, and thought that in today's housing market, we should be really sure that we wouldn't rather move before we plunge into construction.

We have tried to mostly keep the kids not involved at this point, to avoid anxiety or confusion about a move. However, it is not always possible to schedule a showing without John, so he has seen a number of houses. Of course, it is confusing for him, at age 4. Each house we visit, he is excited about and wants to buy, but for completely preschooler-reasons. "Mom, let's buy this house. It's awesome! I like the pool table!"

Try as we might, we can't convince him that the furniture won't come with the house. Or that is not worth buying a house just because it has a hot tub on the deck - we could buy a hot tub for our current house for less than the cost of a move. (Although, I must confess, even I have a bit of trouble with that logic. I know we probably won't actually buy a hot tub, but if it came with a house anyway, that would be fun to have!) So, we try to settle for just convincing him that the things we see in a house walk-through do not belong to us and he can't take them with us when we go - like the toys. Had a few close calls on that one. And then, of course there is the other side of selling. After we tour a house, he might point to a neighboring house (with a cool playset in the yard) and ask to buy that one. Explaining to him that it is not for sale is difficult.

I suppose it must be very confusing to a young person, and yet, John often surprises me with his comprehension. He has obviously been stewing over this for a while. In the car the other day, he said, "Mom, I want to buy a new house. When can we?"

"Well, John, it isn't that simple. We might not ever do it. First we have to find a house that someone is selling, that we would want to buy."

There was a long silence, and I thought perhaps he was satisfied with my answer and had moved on. Instead, he replied, "Mom, buying a house is like waiting for a parking space to open up, isn't it? And sometimes you have to wait a long time." Score one for analogical thinking.